my blueprint cleanse journal.

Day 5: 2:24pm - Day 5 (of 5)

And today? Today is Day 5 (of 5). I still feel great, plenty of energy, and I feel like i’ve gotten rid of that lethargic feeling that I’ve been walking around with since the new year. Have I mentioned that I was at two separate parties within one week where we ate Turduckhen (a deboned game hen stuffed into a duck stuffed into a turkey? So, I have just consumed my 4th juice today, with two left. What next? A big fat steak? An extra-large pizza with pepperoni, sausage, and extra cheese? A BURGER?

here’s how they suggest breaking the cleanse:

_Day 1 – A few pieces of fruit spread out through the day, or some fresh squeezed non-pasteurized juice (green/citrus/or fruit). If you wish to drink some freshly squeezed juice, be sure to dilute it with some water.

Day 2 - Raw or lightly steamed vegetables, e.g. spinach, broccoli; try and avoid the more starchy veggies like carrots, beets, squash etc. You may also have a raw green leafy salad with some vegetables.

Day 3 – Green salads should be your staple at this point. If you’re craving some more sustenance, you may choose plain brown rice (a small portion), or a yam or sweet potato.

Day 4 – If you eat meat, you may incorporate some now - lightly steamed or poached fish, with veggies and a salad of course!

Day 5 – Other more “dense” foods are now able to gradually make a come back._

This sounds about right and is in line with what I am craving at this point. I feel great and I want to keep this feeling going, eating for energy and not wanting to take a nap after every meal.

I really want a martini though, I’ll be quite honest.

Day 4: 7:11am

No I don’t have to catch a flight or anything, no I am not up early to do the salt water flush again, I am just up early feeling awake and alive, and surprisingly alert on Day 4. Today I step down into the level 2 Renovation Cleanse, the middle-tier blueprint Cleanse which differs from the Level 3 in that it has 3 green juices instead of 4. Originally I was going to do the 3 day cleanse but felt like in the past, 3 days was right about the time when you just started feeling good, so I opted to extend it two more days, for essentially 60% more cleanse time. If you’re gonna do it, then DO IT, right?

Day 3: 10:20am - Hump Day.

So today is the beginning of Day 3. Woke up feeling pretty good, no hunger pains or dizziness or anything weird. Compared to the Master Cleanse, the Blueprint Cleanse either seems to be easier, has less nasty detox symptoms, or provides you with more nutrients—whichever reason it is (and I think it might be a little of all of them), WAY easier (and tastier) than the MC.

warning mildly graphic content It’s 10:20am and I am only on my first juice, which I usually have at 9am. Unfortunately, I was busy at 9 expelling the Salt Water Flush that I ingested at 8:15. What is the Salt Water Flush, you ask? The Salt Water Flush is something that you do on the Master Cleanse, which is gulping down a liter of body-temperature salt water that is the same gravity as your blood, which makes it indigestible—your body ends up flushing it right out. Out of your butt. WHY would you do such a thing? Well, I woke up this morning realizing that I hadn’t had a bowel movement all day yesterday, so I felt like I needed to flush out the insides. This is supposed to be a cleanse, right? end bathroom talk

Had the first juice as I was writing this. Stay tuned.

Day 2: 4:44pm-An unforeseen downside to the cleanse.

So it’s 4:44pm, about 15 minutes til i’m scheduled for my next juice. I am feeling pretty good, and I haven’t really felt hungry at all, and I just realized that my energy levels are pretty good, despite the fact that the last thing I ate was a lobster roll at 6pm on Sunday (I know I wasn’t supposed to do that, hush). Unfortunately, this means that I completely forget to take a lunch break, so I’ve been pretty much sitting here at my desk all day, only getting up for meetings, to fill up my water bottle, or to walk to the printer. Perhaps I’ll just leave early today.

Day 2: 12:41pm

Well, it’s Day 2 of 5 and I am about 20 minutes away from my next scheduled juice. Energy levels seem to be pretty good—no matter how many times I try a cleanse, I am always surprised by how much energy I seem to have. The little headache I had yesterday has gone away, and I’m feeling right as rain. I lost 1.8lbs yesterday, which puts my BMI in normal range (whew), and I’m still enjoying the taste of the juices. Did I mention how much I enjoyed the Cashew drink last night? It’s definitely nice having a variety of juices as opposed to just the lemon drink in the Master Cleanse.

When I finish this, I suppose I will write my definitive feelings on Master Cleanse vs. Blueprint Cleanse, but that will have to wait at least 3 more days.

Day 1: 5:10pm

I’m alive! ALIVE!

It’s been a busy day here at The Behemoth Advertising Agency and even though I haven’t consumed anything since 6pm last night besides the juices, I feel pretty good. It should be noted that in the days leading up to the cleanse, they suggest that you transition away from meat and bread and alcohol towards fruits and veggies, warning that you will be an unhappy camper by the end of the first day if you do not heed these suggestions. Of course, what did I do yesterday but have several vodka/sodas and a lobster roll—I am nothing if not stubborn.

Luckily, I seem to be doing alright, save for a tiny little headache. It’s about time for my fourth juice of the day, the spicy lemonade. Made with filtered water, lemon, agave nectar, and cayenne, I imagine it is very much like what you drink on the Master Cleanse.

Ok, I had a sip of it, and it is good, much tastier than the Master Cleanse version—must be the agave nectar instead of the maple syrup. It certainly is nice having some variety, I must say. One more green juice, and then the “dessert-like” cashew nut milk later this evening.